Ponyboy's Odd Comeback

Ok, check out Southland ep. 3, and tell me C. Thomas Howell's character is not based on Moe Szyslak from The Simpsons. Give Moe a badge, and you have (note: I'm at war against the phrase "you've got") Officer Billy Dewey. Get Tom Cruise some chocolate cake; it's time to "do it for Johnny."

The Great Dish Towel Experiment

As our loyal reader knows, earlier this year, I not only failed to properly multiply 6 times 4 (24, for the record), but I stopped using and buying paper towels. I'm here to report that my 24 white dish towels are doing the job very nicely, and are catching our regular laundry cycles in a timely fashion. I am yet to be without a clean, white dish towel to dry my hands or wipe a counter. While there are times when I and my wife miss a convenient paper towel, like this morning, following our dog's minor digestive incident, we seem to have alternatives handy: some extra take-out napkins, for example. So take it from me, a sanitation geek, you can save money without sacrificing cleanliness or wiping performance by switching from paper towels to a stock of twenty-four 12 x 12 inch dish towels.*

*Statement based on a household of 2 adults and 1 dog. Larger households may require a stock greater than 24 dish towels.

Shredding a Better Solo

Well hello there, loyal reader. The clocks have sprung ahead, and hibernation is over. There's much to write about, so let's get into it. First, I am putting out this idea that I had way back during season 2 of Lost: If any new Star Wars movies covering the Han Solo era should be made, Josh Holloway, Lost's James 'Sawyer' Ford, is the only possible choice for the character of Han Solo. It is obvious in an inevitable way. Just watch Lost, and realize it for yourself. Holloway pulls of the deep-steeled scoundrel-with-a-hero's-heart as well as Harrison Ford did in SW Episodes IV-VI. Holloway takes it a step further though, portraying a deeper emotional range that I can't recall in any Harrison Ford movie . . . well, maybe Air Force One, but only because Gary Oldman made Harry step up his game by pinning his head to a control panel for a solid twenty seconds. I would have been on the verge of tears too. I credit Oldman's commitment for Ford's performance.

Holloway doesn't require physical pain to express emotional range. Just look at his reaction shot to seeing Kate return to the island at the end of the most recent episode. He's a certified bad-ass with a sense of humor and a big heart for troubled alpha-females. As strong as she is as Kate, Evangeline Lilly is no Princess Leia, but Josh Holloway is Han-freaking-Solo to the core.

So who else might be appropriate for a 21st century, Han Solo era, Star Wars film? Well, the obvious choice for Leia is Natalie Portman, but that just makes me groan. She was nothing to write home about in SW Episodes I-III, but I blame George Lucas for that. He put fireworks over character and story development, and the acting suffered. Natalie Portman definitely has the acting chops--look no further than V for Vendetta for evidence of that--but the SW franchise would need a clean break from Episodes I-III just to re-establish some credibility. It could use some visual minimalism with an emphasis on character and storytelling. It all comes back to writing and directing.

If not Portman, then who? What about Luke Skywalker? How 'bout Ryan Gosling? I'm open to ideas. Discuss! Holloway is non-negotiable though.

The Post-Cynical Era

The Big Wall continues to crumble, and its foundation is gloriously compromised. There are no more excuses. We can no longer blame management. It's up to us. It's up to you. It's up to me. We are victims leaving the hospital; standing from our wheelchairs.

You have no age, you have no gender, you have no race. You are whom think you are. You are whom you want to be. You are a Kung Fu master of yourself. You are built of bullet-proof stained glass. You are bound with stainless steel. You cradle the sun within you. You glow like God at the river's edge, where your family and friends welcome you. You breathe in the spectrum. You glide through the bubble.

What would you like to do? How can you help?

Inaugural Comments, Thoughts, and Advice From My Record Collection

"Wake Up Time" - Tom Petty

"Lively Up Yourself" - Bob Marley & The Wailers

"Good Morning, Good Morning" - The Beatles

"Brand New Day" - Van Morrison

"I Feel Good" - James Brown

"Optmistic" - Radiohead

"Gratitude" - Beastie Boys

"High Time" - The Grateful Dead

"You Should Be Dancing" - Bee Gees

"Take Control" - Weezer

"Pick Up the Pieces" - Average White Band

"Bridge Over Troubled Waters" - Simon & Garfunkel

"Please Be Patient with Me" - Wilco

More later.

Sigur Ros

Sigur Ros - Inní mér syngur vitleysingur

(This post is a continuation of Adam trying name his favorite band)

Iceland is crazy pants.



I spent New Year's Eve in Reykjavík and was blown away by the drama of the landscape, the fireworks bombarding every inch of the city and the general elation for the coming new year.

If they ever turn C.S. Lewis' Out of the Silent Planet into a film (which they should do immediately) it must be shot in Iceland. This place does not feel like earth. The terrain is often rocky and mossy, the icy mountains are epic, the waterfalls are dangerously intense and the water rarely looks like water. Sometimes it is milky white, sometimes it is literally neon blue.



And even the people seem a little like aliens with human skin stretched over them. They almost all speak English, which makes everything very easy, but it is the kind of English where just enough gets lost in translation so every interaction is slightly off.

Instead of a simple 'Yes' they often give a different and disconcerting reply:

Me: Does this bus go to my hotel?
Driver: With any luck.
Me: Um...fingers crossed?

Turns out this is just cautious optimism. These people take nothing for granted.

On the flight to Reykjavík, I watched a documentary on Sigur Ros. This band had always been in my peripheral but I never really knew a thing about them. Turns out they are Iceland's golden boy and produce transcendent music. Inní mér syngur vitleysingur, which translates to "Within me a lunatic sings", is the breakout track off their new album. Listening to this song you can almost feel the oppressive darkness of winter giving way to the long days of summer, and in that, the mysterious optimism that comes from being Icelandic.

If I were raised in Iceland this might be my favorite band, but I need to pick something with which I can sing along.

In the meantime, put your head phones on and take a trip to the Arctic Circle.

How "Painful" Can it Be?

"The sky is falling, the sky is falling! . . . Ooh, mini wienies!"

The Libertines

The Libertines - Time for Heroes

(This post is a continuation of Adam trying name his favorite band)

There's no tangible explanation, but I have always had intense cinema connections with old men going through mid-life crises. Guys who have just one last shot, all or nothing: Murray in Rushmore, Spacey in American Beauty, Nicholson in The Shining and now Rourke in The Wrestler.



Nausea never felt so good.

If there's ever a movie made about me, I hope there's a montage where I'm 50 years old getting contentious on whiskey only to start a barroom brawl while the The Libertines roar off the jukebox. This would, of course, lead me to feel the hunger again. So I'd buy and old timey typewriter and train hop across the country, writing the only meaningful screenplay of my life. Normal people fantasize about this stuff right?

So when everyone condemns Pete Doherty for his rampant drug use and wasted potential, I say that's just rock and roll shit. Sure The Libertines burned out too soon, but that's what happens when you are raucous and heartfelt, honest and raw.

And if anyone has an interest in rock star worship/obsession, they should watch this mesmerizing piece on Doherty.

So in review:

1. It's never too late to get it back
2. Go see The Wrestler
3. Start a brawl
4. Doherty could have really been something, and maybe he still can

From Thy Bounty, to Thy Terry

Unlike Lew Zealand, I do not have any paper towels. If that doesn't make sense, watch The Great Muppet Caper, one of the most underrated comedies of all time.

So I was in Target yesterday shopping for household staples such as automatic dish washing detergent and paper towels when I saw the price of the 12-pack of Bounty Select-a-size rolls: $17.99.

$17.99? That seemed unusually high to me. It struck me. Weren't they usually around $11? I could deal with less than a buck a roll especially since I'm a chronic hand-washer, and I like having a pristine, absorbent paper towel at my disposal. But well over a buck a roll seemed asinine, so I made a mental note of $17.99 and proceeded to the housewares section.

There I found a six pack of 12 x 12 inch dish towels for $2.99. So I bought 4 six packs for around $12, and began my new experiment: can I successfully substitute 36 dish towels for the convenience of a thousand paper towels? I think I can, but if the 36 fall short, I'm just going to buy more until I have a good, full, laundry-load's worth.

This is one small step for man, but one significant step for me. I have long considered the Bounty paper towel an indispensable kitchen necessity, and freak out a bit when I run out. If I don't already have OCD, I'm definitely borderline. Maybe I'm just a sanitation geek. So, I'll let you know how the 36 white, 12 x 12 dish towels work out. Now, all I need is a bidet. I guess I'll need a real job first to pay for it.

The Soft Pack

The Soft Pack - Extinction

January is for the dogs. It always feels like more of a crossroads than a time for resolutions, like I need to do something drastic to feel anything at all. And then this song by The Soft Pack (formerly The Muslims) popped up on my morning commute. I put it on repeat and started staring into the eyes of strangers just to see what I could find...turns out they HATE that.

The Soft Pack are like a local garage band in high school that you wouldn't admit you liked, but you couldn't get their punchy riffs out of your head during Chemistry class with Coach Peters.

These guys just seethe transition, whether you have to break up with your girl, your friends or your job. Basically, they make great January music.

I think I'll try to catch them at the Mercury Lounge on the 16th, but I don't think they're ready to be anyone's favorite band.

Hey, Girl Scouts . . .

. . . why the f are you selling cookies in early January when everyone is trying to lose 40 pounds? Where were you in December when I was short on gift ideas, and craving cookies pretty much around the clock? Are you trying to raise money, or are you trying to piss everyone off?

According to your Web site, your mission is to "build character and skills for success in the real world." Well here's Lesson 1. Accomplish this, and get your Common Sense badge:

Sell cookies during the Christmas season when some people are actually on "all cookie" diets.

Sell pedometers, yoga mats and exercise balls after New Year's to help people burn off the f-ing cookies.

Jeez, do I have to think of everything around here?

Oh, and you can't have cookies without . . .

I think there will have to be 3 Emmys given this year for Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series. Good lord, Salma, and thanks again, Ms. Fey. You continue to give me everything I could possibly want in video entertainment.

An Answer to the Question

Simple Kid - Lil' King Kong

Over the holidays, I was in a heated conversation about music which ended with someone demanding I name my favorite band.

This infuriated me for a number of reasons. Initially, I found the question to be fairly juvenile, being a freak about music doesn't necessitate having a favorite band. But soon I became distraught that I couldn't remember the last album I bought (non digitally) and angry that I didn't even have a stock answer followed by an enchanting non sequitur.

In the early '90s, when I began my path toward musical maturity, I was exposed to maybe a couple hundred bands a year. Picking Pearl Jam out of that lot as a twelve year old was logical, decisions are always easier with fewer options. Now, I might devour a couple hundred bands in a week. Things done changed.

“You can’t roll a joint on an iPod,” Shelby Lynne told the New York Times Magazine early last year. And she's right. Our relationship with music has changed dramatically. Instead of albums, we have playlists, and those playlists often smash together artists of any genere from any era. Most of the time we don't even know the name of the album that provided our song du jour.

The iPod protects us from shelves of records with only one or two great songs, but it also curbed our enthusiasm and loyalty toward single bands or musicians. Well, I'm fighting back. This is me trying to find my new favorite band.

This afternoon, I went careening into my iTunes, surely my search should start there. One name jumps right out a me: Simple Kid. This Irish electronic folk rocker had two stellar records (the first one completely dominating my summer a few years back), maybe he'll have a new one coming out that I can order up and get my damn head straight.

This is what I found at simplekid.com:

SIMPLE KID IS
CURRENTLY
WONDERING WHAT
DO WITH HIS LIFE.......


No upcoming tour dates, no new music videos. Nothing else, just this. I'm not even sure he had the heart to reread it before posting. Is he quitting the biz? I don't know, but I can't crown him my favorite band with that attitude.

Sure it's a fairly depressing first step of my journey, but in a lot of ways it has galvanized my determination. So if anyone wants to be exposed to new music or relive songs you used to rock out to, stick around, this might take a while.

"The Waiting is the Hardest Part."

Greetings, and Happy New Year, loyal reader. The Nor'easter is in a bit of post-holiday limbo (the other kind) at the moment. The real New Year will begin on Innauguration Day, January 20th, as Christmas came early on November 4th. In the meantime, keep unwrapping those presents and planning those resolutions.

Speaking of presents, I got Chinese Democracy for Christmas, and it's rather enjoyable. It's somewhat overproduced, and no Slash means, really, no GN'R, but it's a good, hard rock album, and I'm going to keep exploring it.

Oh, and I saw Baby Mama, starring my girl Liz/Tina. Sure it was formulaic and predictable, but it was entertaining throughout. It had 3 classic lines, including one which made me and the wife cry in laughter for at least five minutes. Plus, it had two of the smartest dumb characters ever written. Thumb up.

Peace and Love,
Johnny