Worse Jobs Volume 1

Most of the time when I mention to someone that I work in television, I get a sneer and a "oh...I don't watch tv," remark. And while it is not the greatest job in the world, I would like to start keeping track of worse jobs. Maybe it will make someone feel a little better about their life.

Here is the first installment:

Ghostwriter - DesignWrite


Recently it was discovered the pharmaceutical company Wyeth hired ghostwriters from DesignWrite to manufacture favorably fictitious articles for their female hormone replacement therapy, Prempro, despite the fact that a federal study had found that the drug raised the risk of breast cancer.

Seriously? This is the path you've chosen in life? Writing false medical articles so someone else can make money off a drug that heightens the risk of breast cancer? I hope this job pays enough to buy some intense downers so you can sleep at night.


Transmission Engineer - Deep Space Communications Network



20th Century Fox just announced they teamed up with DSCN to transmit "The Day The Earth Stood Still" into space. But that's not all, for just 299 dollars, a Transmission Engineer over at the DSCN will send your message of "up to five digital pictures OR up to 2 minutes of audio and/or video and a text message of up to 50 words" into deep space.

Seriously? These guys are hoping that right now you've got 300 extra bucks kicking around to send your crappy video into nothing...literally NOTHING.

Here's my favorite FAQ from thier website:

Q: What type of confirmation will I get?
A: Well the ultimate confirmation might be a message back from deep space, but we provide a certificate guaranteeing your message was sent...



Congratulations DSCN Engineer, you will be personally responsible when Earth is attacked and destroyed. Great work.


Custodian - Metropolitan Transit Authority




Subway custodians have to deal with all forms of human evacuations, but that is not why it makes the list. One Sunday morning, I saw a custodian showing a young ruffian how to sweep and it quickly dawned on me that this was form of legal punishment.

Seriously? A judge decided that the worst thing this kid could do on his weekend was this guy's day to day job? I can't imagine sitting in my office with a delinquent and it is simply my existence that is supposed to scare him straight. How degrading.

Prop Manager - Vienna's Burgtheater



Last Saturday, during a performance at the Burgtheater of Mary Stuart, actor Daniel Hoevels takes a knife to his throat in his character's desperate attempt at suicide. The problem? The prop manager forgot to dull the new prop knife. Chaos ensues. Hoevels staggers across the stage, blood spilling everywhere before being rushed to a nearby hospital. The actor suffered a relatively minor flesh wound, but the prop manager is under criminal investigation.

Seriously, if I was a prop manager, my attention to detail would have killed an entire troupe of actors by now.