I think I hate Fantasy Football

Pavement - Spit on a Stranger
Pavement - Spit on a Stranger

Right now, I'm at The Pour House in Union Square, a typical sports bar showing most of the NFL games. I just want some cold beer, a decent burger and the Pats-Raiders game.

I sit next to a dude, mid 20s, He's loud but it's okay, he's cheering for the Pats. Welker has caught two straight passes and the dude is going bonkers. I'm about to ask who won the Dolphins game when Kevin Faulk hauls in a touchdown. I give a quiet fist pump (my subdued style) and the dude is surprisingly silent.

The Pats get the ball back and the dude starts up again, "Come on 83!", every time Cassel steps back in the pocket, "Come on Wes!" and my stomach slowly turns.

The thing is, all signs point to me loving fantasy. It's all stats and predictions, trade offers and trash talking...wait, they are showing a commercial for the Mentalist and I want to mention that I kind of love that show.



Non sexual crush is a thing, right?

Back to the game, Jamarcus Russell throws a touchdown for the Raiders and the dude throws his hands up, "Yes! That'll keep the Pats throwing". I seethe a little bit and order another beer.

Fantasy sports is a little like being 10 years old, just before realizing the merits of being a homer. Maybe I had a Christian Okoye (the Nigerian Nightmare) poster on my wall,



but I soon realized that you don't just root for certain players, you root for the team that plays just a car ride away. You see can (in theory) see all the games, you can strike up a conversation with any local about a recent trade and you always have something to discuss with your father.

The proof will play out when the current ten and twelve year olds, firmly entrenched in the world of fantasy, become parents. Will they bundle up their kids and head to the stadium? Or will they stay home with the NFL package, constantly flipping and cheering the running back du jour. Team victories begin to have no meaning and team losses don't leave a scar. Fandom takes on a new face as it doesn't matter if the Jets beat your Pats as long as you started Farve and he threw for 3 touchdowns.

To be fair, it is hard to defend the NFL, I mean it is just a heartless business. Like Seinfeld said, you're basically rooting for laundry. The Patriots don't care about dropping Willie McGinest or Asante Samuel. Welker may soon play for the highest bidder, but screw it, I love football, it's all part of the game.

Of course, I am known for being stubborn to a fault. Johnny, any thoughts on Fantasy?